If you are reading this, you know here in Texas we are coming out of a major storm for us. Now for those who are used to snow and ice, this was nothing, but for us this was a major storm. I’ve lived in Texas for 26 years now and in that time I have never experienced an event like this here. Yes I have had snow days here. Yes we shut down for a day or two, but never have I experienced the mass power outages and the broken pipes. We just were not ready for a storm like this.
So what does this have to do with a divorce mediation blog post? Simply put many people are not ready for coming out of the storm in terms of divorcing their spouse. Many people are not ready for what comes next. This post hopes to give some insight into what to expect.
This is perhaps the biggest hurdle for divorcing spouses to overcome. When you were married you had one house/apartment and one set of bills. Now you will have two houses/apartments and two sets of bills. As you go through the divorce process you will be dividing all assets and all debts. I find it useful for each party to have a list of their income and their expenses before coming to mediation. This helps me work through dividing the property and ensuring each party can afford all of their expenses going forward. Here is a sample form to use to assist you: Financial Information Sheet
If you have children there is the added stress of the children going between homes and different parenting types that the children have to adjust to. Just as we have gone through the COVID-19 pandemic and each parent thought differently about what was best for children, when you are separated it becomes a much bigger hurdle for the children. I have had cases where one parent is extremely relaxed in rules and the other parent is extremely strict with rules. When they lived together the children had balance between the two parents. Now that they do not live together the children have to adjust between each home.
If there are children one spouse will get child support and the other will suddenly be paying child support. This will be an adjustment for everyone. I sometimes get questions from the person paying child support to find out if they can specify what it should be spent on. The answer to that is no you cannot. This is when the person paying support may feel like they have lost control. The receiving spouse may feel pressure about how they spend the child support money. If you want to estimate the amount of child support click here: Child Support Calculator
After the divorce you will have these challenges to overcome, but in my experience as a family law attorney after a period of adjustment everything worked out. For some that can take weeks and for others a year or two. Ultimately though you will climb out of it and begin your new adventure.