My attorney said we have to go to mediation before trial, but what is mediation? Generally mediation is a process where a mediator assists the parties in reaching an agreement to avoid trial. How mediation is conducted depends on the type of case, the mediator, the parties, and the attorney’s involved. As I primarily focus on mediating family law matters, such as divorce and child custody, this post will focus on family law mediation.
Generally in family law mediation the parties either attend a four (4) hour mediation or an eight (8) hour mediation, though sometimes a six (6) hour mediation is scheduled. The length of mediation will largely depend on the complexity of the case and the parties. In most situations the parties will be in separate rooms and the mediator will travel between the rooms to work out an agreement.
How can a mediator can resolve issues if the parties are not in the same room together? Unlike the picture in this post, most cases settle largely because the parties are in separate rooms. Each party can feel at ease to discuss their side of the case freely with me as everything in mediation is confidential.
Just like in the picture, in family law cases emotions sometimes can be strong. When emotions get high the things are said that you wish you did not say. By being in separate rooms there is no worry about what you are saying or what emotion you are feeling. The only people in the room are the mediator, you, and your attorney are there. There is no need to be strong or look tough. There is no worry about offending the other party or saying the wrong thing.
Instead I encourage you to speak freely. Vent out any frustration. Work through the emotions. In doing so you help work through settling the case.
When the mediator is visiting with each room she/he is learning about what is important to each side. She/he uses that information to figure out where the compromises exist and works with that. Every mediator has their own style. Sometimes that style will change depending on the case. I once had an attorney tell me that the way I handled something was backwards, but it settled and the parties were happy with the settlement. Every situation is unique and the mediator will adapt to the situation to try to reach a settlement.