Family law matters by nature are extremely emotional times. When emotions run high making life changing decisions should be low on the list and here is why:
- Buying expensive things – You might want to go out and buy a new car or house or boat or whatever to make yourself feel better, but if you are going through a divorce that new car, house or boat is part of community property subject to division of the marital estate. That means your soon to be ex spouse could use that as leverage in a divorce. Secondly, you are going to be adjusting to a lot of changes so keeping some things the same for a while will help stabilize the situation for you.
- Moving – Maybe you feel that you need to get as far away from your spouse as possible. Trying to start over in a new town while going through a divorce can make things even harder for you, especially if you do not have friends and family in the new town. Additionally, moving away from where your divorce case is happening will increase your time and expense when you have to appear for hearings or mediation or trial.
- New relationship – Until your divorce is final a new relationship with someone is considered adultery. Maybe it will or will not have an affect on your divorce, but why risk it?
- Ranting on social media – Social media can be used by anyone and often times is requested during discovery in a divorce case. Refraining from the use of social media is best while a divorce is pending, but at a minimum not saying anything negative towards your spouse is absolutely crucial.
Instead, perhaps focusing on how to maintain your lifestyle while having two separate homes will provide the foundation you need to move past this trying time. Here are a few suggestions to doing just that:
- You’ve probably already created a budget, but if you haven’t do so now. Use this Financial_Information_Sheet as a guide if you need somewhere to start (plus your attorney will probably make you fill one out anyway)
- Find an activity that you enjoy and do it at least once a month. Whether that is a night out with friends, exercise, sewing, games or other hobby. Just make sure you find time for yourself.
- Make new friends. I know this is easier said than done, but you need friends that were not part of your marriage so that you have people to lean on when things are tough.
- Find a counselor if you are having a difficult time dealing with the situation.
- Take a short vacation.
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