Many times people come to see me when they feel as though they have run out of options. They always tell me that there is no way the other side is going to agree to ANYTHING that they want. I usually have a conversation that goes something like this, “Courts require you to go to mediation to attempt to resolve your disputes. Mediation is highly successful because the decision making is in the parties hands instead of resting your hopes in the hands of the Judge or Jury.” Many times they do not truly believe what I am saying, however, as we go through the process they see it for themselves.
Take for example a case in which one party claims there was a common law marriage and the other party claims that there was not a marriage of any sorts. In mediation the mediator is going to explain to both sides the potential cost to prove they were right or the risk that the Judge would find that they are wrong. Once that is laid out the parties will tend to work towards some sort of agreement that both parties can live with.
Another example may be where the parties absolutely cannot communicate well at all and when found in the same location craziness happens. Sometimes mediation can even result in one party agreeing never to go to a certain location just so the parties can keep the peace.
When you are in mediation you can come up with creative ways to meet each party’s goals (or at least some of them) rather than rolling the dice with the Judge. Often times the things that are most important to a person are not something the law has an answer for, but when the parties work together to reach an agreement those things can be settled through mediation.
So when your attorney says you will go to mediation to try to resolve your case keep in mind that in mediation the power to settle or go forward is fully in your hands but the goal of the mediator is to try to find out what is most important to each party and see if an agreement can be reached.